THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2010
First date awkward
my favorite book title, taken. The name of my first idea...taken. The name of my first childhood dog...taken. The whole world must be blogging to have taken all my seemingly personal titles. Blogging? Really? Not for me, I have been completely sure. So, now I will have to give a lot of excuses why I am not blogging, only writing...in the year 2010.
My Dad is this really amazing writer. Growing up, I experienced delectable bites of life through his writing. Slowing down an everyday experience and serving it up with a splash of wit, heavy helping of observation and oh yes, the bleak Irish humor. All that being said, I offered him a birthday present last year. I would write about a childhood memory, mail it to him and then he would write one of his. and Wa la! we would have his most hilarious stories preserved to tell my sons. Alas, we are both horrible at data entry...so this is my sneaky fix. A blog! automatically typed and saved in cyberspace! We shall see if he buys into it...
Past all the quips, I have felt this tug at my insides lately, as regular as my daily paper and my son exclaiming about his " poop-castle" after he has his daily constitutional, This tug shows up. An overwhelming sense of being kicked in the pants to "write it down". I know that it is my bestfriend and creator, nudging me in a good direction. So here I am. Daring to put thoughts on paper. Lately, I hear Him telling me to write down the daily stuff....so I won't forget so quickly the truth, or mabe the proverbial bus is going to run me down soon and this could be my last will and testament on this earth. I so desperately want my son's to know that each day I spend with them is a beautiful gift to me. That I have discovered the world and myself a thousand times over in their simple questions and toddler presence. Staring, I still can't quite get used to the miracle sitting next to me on the couch...how did God make this little person? will I ever get to know him completely? What is he going to be like? Grown inside me, his existence completely started in me....yet I still can't wrap my mind around the magic of his existence! The favor God has given me in getting to be part of his life. Wowed, I have tasted afternoon picnics, swinging high until you don't even remember what it looks like from the ground. Swearing I am now half bird, I don't even want to stop. I am promising myself that I will unashamedly write what I want....refuse to delete anything and put down the red pen of editing. This is a beautiful salute to life lived messy, gut wrenching moments and ugly emotions panned for gold . I won't give up until I see God's redemption in my story, in our story.
To my husband, who fights for me and bleeds with me...I want him to know the amazing stuff that I sometimes forget to tell him...that I am living the dream. He has made my whole life a dream.....thank you. Even when I forget to tell you anything but the rant. Thank you for being in my corner, always choosing me, and laying yourself down for me. I experience Jesus in you...and I can't wait to intertwine our fingers in heaven and worship forever together.
To my Dad, I really had every intention to write memories for you...but the things that I want to write are about Iraq. It is a messy, ugly story that I feel the tug to write. I know I shouldn't be ashamed to let you read about my story, but I am. I think it might hurt you, hearing how a big war and inhumane people bested your Duaba. I don't want you to feel hurt or uncomfortable...but right now, this is what I have to share. The more I don't write about it, I am frozen for writing about anything else. Mabe if I just write the worst of the worst, the "rest of the story" I will have freedom to write about other things. Like how, I am pretty sure that God is giving me the vacation/adventure I have always dreamed about, but disguised it as being a "stay at homer" with my son's. Imagine if this is better than all the brochures I have read and collected over the years, but He dressed it up as my "everyday life". What a kick that would be! How God is that....always flipping things upside down. Instead of pinning after a vacation from my real life, in reality I am living the vacation...daily. and years down the road, when my peanuts are grown I will realize it. Creatively amazing God is..the first will be last, if you give away your life you will actually find it, if you forgive you will be forgiven, what you did for the most overlooked you actually did for the king of kings! oh, yeah...I think this hypothesis has merit...God is feeding me my fav dessert, all dolled up to look like a nutritious carrot. what do you think?
My Dad is this really amazing writer. Growing up, I experienced delectable bites of life through his writing. Slowing down an everyday experience and serving it up with a splash of wit, heavy helping of observation and oh yes, the bleak Irish humor. All that being said, I offered him a birthday present last year. I would write about a childhood memory, mail it to him and then he would write one of his. and Wa la! we would have his most hilarious stories preserved to tell my sons. Alas, we are both horrible at data entry...so this is my sneaky fix. A blog! automatically typed and saved in cyberspace! We shall see if he buys into it...
Past all the quips, I have felt this tug at my insides lately, as regular as my daily paper and my son exclaiming about his " poop-castle" after he has his daily constitutional, This tug shows up. An overwhelming sense of being kicked in the pants to "write it down". I know that it is my bestfriend and creator, nudging me in a good direction. So here I am. Daring to put thoughts on paper. Lately, I hear Him telling me to write down the daily stuff....so I won't forget so quickly the truth, or mabe the proverbial bus is going to run me down soon and this could be my last will and testament on this earth. I so desperately want my son's to know that each day I spend with them is a beautiful gift to me. That I have discovered the world and myself a thousand times over in their simple questions and toddler presence. Staring, I still can't quite get used to the miracle sitting next to me on the couch...how did God make this little person? will I ever get to know him completely? What is he going to be like? Grown inside me, his existence completely started in me....yet I still can't wrap my mind around the magic of his existence! The favor God has given me in getting to be part of his life. Wowed, I have tasted afternoon picnics, swinging high until you don't even remember what it looks like from the ground. Swearing I am now half bird, I don't even want to stop. I am promising myself that I will unashamedly write what I want....refuse to delete anything and put down the red pen of editing. This is a beautiful salute to life lived messy, gut wrenching moments and ugly emotions panned for gold . I won't give up until I see God's redemption in my story, in our story.
To my husband, who fights for me and bleeds with me...I want him to know the amazing stuff that I sometimes forget to tell him...that I am living the dream. He has made my whole life a dream.....thank you. Even when I forget to tell you anything but the rant. Thank you for being in my corner, always choosing me, and laying yourself down for me. I experience Jesus in you...and I can't wait to intertwine our fingers in heaven and worship forever together.
To my Dad, I really had every intention to write memories for you...but the things that I want to write are about Iraq. It is a messy, ugly story that I feel the tug to write. I know I shouldn't be ashamed to let you read about my story, but I am. I think it might hurt you, hearing how a big war and inhumane people bested your Duaba. I don't want you to feel hurt or uncomfortable...but right now, this is what I have to share. The more I don't write about it, I am frozen for writing about anything else. Mabe if I just write the worst of the worst, the "rest of the story" I will have freedom to write about other things. Like how, I am pretty sure that God is giving me the vacation/adventure I have always dreamed about, but disguised it as being a "stay at homer" with my son's. Imagine if this is better than all the brochures I have read and collected over the years, but He dressed it up as my "everyday life". What a kick that would be! How God is that....always flipping things upside down. Instead of pinning after a vacation from my real life, in reality I am living the vacation...daily. and years down the road, when my peanuts are grown I will realize it. Creatively amazing God is..the first will be last, if you give away your life you will actually find it, if you forgive you will be forgiven, what you did for the most overlooked you actually did for the king of kings! oh, yeah...I think this hypothesis has merit...God is feeding me my fav dessert, all dolled up to look like a nutritious carrot. what do you think?
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